Wolves Have Got Me

The hardest part of Claiming your Flame is this, knowing it is truly yours. Maybe we can share this part of the flame. How can we not be rioting in the streets? Is it because there is no one "face" of this?  No One child that has been the face for lack of better word, when there is a movement? FUCK THAT How can we turn a blind eye to what has happen? TO THE FUCKING PROOF. IF ONE PERSON SAYS "FAKE NEWS"... Please do not dare say to me that you care about the unborn, when in fact you have done not one thing to punish the ones that have commited, these crimes against not only the young ones, our future, but the NEWLY BORN.  So maybe it is easier to say that you want to protect until they draw their 1st breath? Have any of you that do not trust my words really looked into the files in question? Of course not, you would not be able to deny what is fact.  There are things that I can not think upon without wanting to scream. THE FEAR THEY FELT. THE LIES TOLD BY THE HUMANS...

 Ever wake up so pissed that all you want is to scream at the top of your lungs? I am there. You should be also. If not, you may desire to take your head out of the sand. There are children in the files. Children that will never have another moment. That had the innocence stolen, by these, I have no word bad enough. {Monsters are not always evil} It started so fucking long ago when that church covered up the rapes of so many children. {Do you know that boys that are abused turn it outward and become offenders? Girls, turn it inward and there is a long, scary list there, some end simply cutting themselves, some do such much worse.} How long did that happen, playing the "let's move them from one place to another and Hell forbid anyone ever figures out how very tarnished our souls are" game?" Here's a bit of my past dear reader: I was preparing for my 1st communion, big thing to my grandmother, me not so much. {I knew even then that my path laid in another direction...

 No one Betrays the Circle That Can Destroy Them I hate that this rings true. Everyone should hate those words, hate the Truth behind them.  Once I see the web, it is hard to unsee.  I fear, Dear Reader, that most will not fully see, before it is too late to stop what is coming.  Once it is too late, what happens? Downfall of civilization?  Maybe, with any luck. No be honest here, it will have to fall, so we may rebuild stronger.  I have sat back and watched the damage that has been done.  We all have. Worse yet is that 9-hour prayer, to establish that America was founded on Catholic beliefs?  Guess what Darlin?  Nope not in the least, as I shall now show you. {This is where Pumpkin Spice Palptine screeches "Fake News", whatever, this document was here far longer than you} 1. The First Amendment (The Religion Clauses) The very first lines of the First Amendment establish two core protections regarding religion:  The Establishment Claus...

 The most dangerous words you can hear me say are "Please repeat that" in a low whisper.  The lower my voice the more dangerous I have become.  Do you desire to be on the other side of that anger?  I did not think so. "The stories harboring a liar/ But you're the seer you can break the curse" I have been told that I notice everything.   I cannot explain all the time why or how I know things, only that I do. 

 The anxiety you feel? The Daja Vu in your Dreams? The glitches in the corner of your eye? They are not mistakes. They are signals. You're getting too close. STAY HIDDEN  STAY DANGEROUS

"Why are you like this?" "Can't you just try to blend in?" Hello, have you met me? I should not have to blend in not too be scared of going out my damned door. No one should.  But here we are.  I find that I am checking for mace, and other such. {Not a warning, just a statement} Fear does not rule me. Never again. I prefer to think of it as prepared. "Be Careful" the little voice in my head whispers.  "Careful is not what is needed" I scream back.  I have those that tell me I should stick to the fiction, or ghostly tales I normally write. I do not think that they can begin to grasp having more than a single thought at the same moment. Anyone else so fucking tired of watching the ones that "if it does not affect me, I will not do anything". This is how a coward thinks. If we do not do something, think of what will be lost. Think beyond yourself for on damned moment. Oh, fuck it, I am watching the masks fall from those around me, in a...

I have tried to write this for over 2 weeks, but each time I do, I walk away.  Maybe that's the point? Get the ones of us that are intelligent enough to see what is happening, so pissed that when we do speak you can label it as "not proper". FUCK THAT. Those of us that know what came before? We are watching, waiting for the moment that you fall. Make not a single mistake, it is coming.  Each day it feels as if there is more unrest, if not open hatred, but out right evil.  Can I ever be as brave as those that came before me? Can any of us? We must be, or there will be nothing left for those that come after.  Fear, like pain, or anger can fuel us.  Panicking and screaming? That's for when there is nothing better to do.  So many times, we have been told/ shown something, only for it to be lies.  ***YOU MUST HAVE FACTS, OR WORDS ARE ONLY PRETTY SOUNDS** Are you scared? You should be.  We all should be.  But most will not see the Truth. Until the ...

WTF?  I know, there are so many reasons to ask this as of late, but today comes down to this: How dumb does Pumkin Spice think we are? Guess what? He will never be the smartest in the room, even when he is alone. Africa has a day that points out all of the horrible things done to females, of all ages, then Pumpkin Spice Palpatine, decides to bomb them?  Tell me Intelligent, Beautiful Reader, does this seem as if it is a bit to connected to you? I know it does for me. But then I am just the one that tries to live a quiet life. Not really wanting to be noticed, better to notice those around you. I have spoken of how easy it is to blend into the background, as needed, but here is the fucking thing,  WE SHOULD NOT NEED TO. What of those that come after us, the ones that will not understand the rage that maybe they cannot place a finger upon why it burns ever so bright in them? Pumpkin Spice is covering up deaths, rape, murder, disappearances?  Sound as if we are repeatin...

I am so very tired of the fighting, this level of Bull Shit. You desire power so badly you will destroy others for it.  Yet those that do not a damned thing get to keep what they do not on a regular basis work for it.  Am I upset by this?  Yes, dear reader I fear I am. I find myself trying to hold on to the me that was not like this, that did not want to be as not so kind, as my ancestors would put it.  Make no mistake, I feel as if there will come a moment very soon, that I may call upon their aid.  And those that have caused it?  Maybe they should have remembered they were warned who they were dealing with. "Nice quiet life". It was all I wanted.  Then again when you go back to where I once called home and ask the wrong people the questions that make us simply close ranks? That they each lied, to you, that what you thought could get you the answers, simply could not.  Loyalty, even after a lifetime, means something, but I guess you will never un...

I feel as if the only manner that I am alright living my life any longer is just that, on my own terms. Why bother to try another's?  To keep the peace? To Not have discord in your life? Not worth it in the least to me, sorry. I have fought my entire life to be who I am now. There were moments I thought that giving up would have been a better choice.  Then I reminded myself, I am better than that.  Yes, if you look closely enough, I have scars from those days, I find them beautiful, they show I came, I fought, I lived through what tried to kill me, both inside and out.                                                                                             

 Yeah, I know I am an adult, but fuck there are moments. Like this one.  I am sitting in my office, listening to a "retired" congressman. He appears to only care about finding out where the "night life" is in this tiny dot of a town.  Only thing is "the night life" in question is of the underage type.  WTF???? No really, act your age, not your shoe size.  Then again, I guess that I should expect no better, as I was raised with the "Old Boys Club" Let's never mind that I am not male, I was the only one that was trusted by those that counted in my family.  Yeah, I get it, this is more than I let on ever about who I am. If you are good enough guess, if not, it is alright, I try to stay hidden. I am mostly just pissed. Funny that you come to such a tiny place to do what I am more than sure you are.  Told you I was told what to watch for. What I am sure is a "fishing" trip, just not the type that one would expect of someone such as you. ...

I received the oddest email, it asks simply,  "Why do you do this? You are risking everything? Have you gone mad?" "I am not mad; my reality is different from yours" ~ Cheshire Cat "We all go a little mad sometimes" ~ Norman Bates Funny I have not a clue as to which one they mean. Nor does it matter. I shall attempt to answer this inquiry.  The simple answer? So that one day, if needed, someone will find these words and know they are not, were not, ever as alone as they feared. As the ones in FALSE Power made them feel. The complicated answer? Take a seat this may be longer than even I have dared consider. I was brought up that no one else mattered in the choices that you make, save yourself. If you can wake up every day and look at yourself in the mirror? Not have any regrets. You have achieved what many will never know. Not Inner Peace, but close enough.  That is what counts. That is all that counts.  I am tired of watching what I KNOW those before us ga...

For those that doubt yourself, that need to know that yes you are enough.  You will never be Too Much for those that you are yours.  I wrote this for all of us, for those moments, for the times that we need to KNOW we are Perfect as we are. THE WITCH IN THE DARK Be Ruthless ~ as you must Be Clever ~ no one expects it Be Scared ~ it will teach you courage Be Swift ~ you have much to do Be Fair ~ when no one else is Be Kind ~ because you can Be Devious ~ for it suits you  Be Vengeance ~ given form and flesh Be Truth ~ the one they seek to hide Be Fury ~ for those that cannot, dare not show theirs Be Brave ~ even when your soul shakes Be Broken ~ for jagged edges protect you Be Adventurous ~ you need not fear the unknown BE BAT SHIT CRAZY Be Happy ~ it pisses off those that only feel hate Be Wild ~ there is much in your soul Be Beautiful ~ for you already are, open your eyes and see yourself as I do Be Destruction ~ for you hold the blade Be LOUD ~       ...

I have long held that objects, places may hold memories, emotions? Walking the streets of New Orleans, years after Katrina? Yes, you can feel it, the manner some passed away. The way most did not know straightaway that they were across the veil. Some still are unsure.  I am not sure what my point is in this dark time. My place.  Maybe that the ghosts that haunt us are not aways what one would expect. Some think they are but memories far too strong to fade.  Some wonder why they are as a person haunted, not a place, not a house, but a person.   

 Let me start by saying I am sorry that I have not written as often as I normally would.  How could I?  How could anyone with a moral compass? My soul hurts from the horrors I see each moment.   Let's see are you different? Do you have depression, ADHD?  Oh, they will look into taking away the meds, and place you in a camp that will cure all things wrong with you? FUCK THAT! The day that the government could say how much and what your doctor can prescribe, the knowledge that these they were to school was rendered null. {Looking at you Nancy Ragan, there was no war on drugs, you needed a cause, so you made you up.} Dare to love someone that these bastards feel you should not? Look, act in a manner that is not what is "proper" in another's eyes? Does anyone else have a clue that the news is being edited that is seen? 

Do these words hold Power? They. Fucking. Should. What does Freedom mean to you?  Is it an idea? Maybe a feeling?  Knowledge that those that look back a hundred years, understand that on this day, in this fucking moment:  We stood up.  We were NEVER as alone as they wanted us to feel.  We were NEVER as divided as they wanted us to feel. The divide was based on FEAR. Their FEAR. Fear of anyone that does not fit the mold that they have created. We are stronger as one.  Never doubt that. 

 I lived through the days of Tipper Gore, calling out music, for no reason other than it scared her.  {Oh, Hell it was not the music, it was the way that it made her feel. In a way I dare say Al, never did.} When the PRMC placed "warning labels" on what we were listening to.  Should you have a moment watch  Dee Snider's PMRC Senate Hearing Speech (Full) The fact that they had brought in someone without doing any of the much-needed research on what was under the image put forth? Totally worth it.  How odd to think that these were the same parent's that made it a point to have us outside, no way of contacting us, not knowing the trouble we really were getting into, wanted to monitor lyrics? Does anyone else see the logic there?  I had the luck to be born to someone that had a fierce belief in personal freedom, free will.  Music does not make anyone do anything, it is many times, what saves us.  To desire to take this away?  How dare you? I thin...

FEAR an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by expectation or awareness of danger This is what has been chosen as a weapon. Due Process  Rule of Law Body Autonomy Bribes Lies Sexual Predator Pardoning of Rioters Anti-Abortion Anti-Women Anti-LGBTQ Anti-Immigrants Removed the Department of Education Anti-Aids/HIV Anti-Oversight Ending Birthright Citizenship Anti-Healthcare Regulations Removing US from WHO Anti-Civil Rights Fuck it let's be honest he is anti-everything that does not  benefit him or those that have bought their way  next to him.  

 This night, I sit and think upon what the coming flashpoint is.  Why it has not already been? Come on, we protested less than the things that this imitation government has done to those around us. I think back to the leaders of the past, how in the 60's, there was a fear, but damn it, you went into it, and you pushed past it.  And guess what? The world was better for it.  This is not a call to arms so much as a wakeup call.  For we have been asleep far too long.  We have allowed those that think they are in power to make rules that serve only themselves. The ones that pay the most, that is all they are loyal to.  It makes me sick.  Does anyone else see the masks of those around them falling? I do.  It pisses me off. Not that we were ever really fooled.  You just had a feeling on some level that this was the rot that lay under their pretty lies. Maybe a look you caught, or a word, or fuck just a feeling. There are so many more of us than...

What do you chase? Sex? Drugs? Rock & Roll? Bit of murder? Control? Over another? Yourself? Maybe the loss of that hard fought control? A taste upon your tongue? A Lost Loves touch? Maybe that RUSH the moment before you take that 1st hit? A sound you had to follow, the one you willing gave your soul to. The one that led you to that Crossroad at midnight. Fuck it.  Maybe it's the blood you crave once more?  The rush in your ears?  Your vision turning red? We all have an escape. A way we pick to slowly die, that makes us feel alive.